


Of Truth and Lies

by KaytiKazoo



Series: How It Could Have Been [8]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Dreams and Nightmares, Family Secrets, Fitzsimmons Family Feels, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29125644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytiKazoo/pseuds/KaytiKazoo
Summary: Deke decides to come clean to his family about exactly who he is, and when he's from.
Relationships: Alya Fitz & Deke Shaw, Deke Shaw/Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa
Series: How It Could Have Been [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903096
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10





	Of Truth and Lies

Deke had had a terrible day the day before, a haze following him everywhere, a vague panic in his veins. He’d dropped things, and misplaced important documents, and missed a crucial meeting. It was days like that where he acutely missed Trevor’s presence in his life. On top of all things that happened between them, Trevor was the best goddamn assistant Deke had ever had. Following the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, he hadn’t slept well that night either, tossing and turning as images from the Lighthouse came back to him. He hadn’t had dreams of the Kree in years, and he wasn’t sure what had triggered it. When he did manage to fall asleep, it was just as the sun was rising and Delilah launched herself into bed with them, landing expertly on top of Deke. 

“What?” Deke groaned, trying to bury his head in the valley between his pillow and Daisy’s. “It’s Saturday. Go watch Food Network, Del.” 

“It’s market day,” Delilah said loudly and brightly. 

“The sun isn’t even up.” 

“But Daddy, we have to get there first! Wake up!” 

“Del,” he groaned again. 

“I’ve got her, Deke,” Daniel said, pushing himself up and out of bed carefully before he eased his prosthetic on. Delilah sat on Deke’s hip without shame, pressing him into the mattress. “Delilah, get off your dad.” 

“But Papa,” she whined. 

“I said off.” 

Deke tucked his face into Daisy’s messy tangle of hair, praying sleep might take him again. There was no such luck that day, though. He was awake, and with it, his mind was racing again. 

“I’m awake,” he grumbled, “unfortunately.” 

“Come back to sleep,” Daisy said, barely awake herself. 

“Market day,” he replied and kissed her shoulder peeking out from underneath the duvet. 

“Market day,” she echoed as she fell back to sleep. 

He climbed out of bed after Daniel and Delilah, grabbing one of Daniel’s hoodies left over the edge of the bed to wear until he found some energy to get dressed. He didn’t usually drink coffee, but he might that day in order to keep himself standing until bedtime that night. Hell, he’d shotgun a Zima to get through the day, probably. 

In the kitchen, Delilah was helping Daniel with breakfast. She had become obsessed with food recently, and could sit in front of the Food Network for hours. Sometimes, she sat with a little notebook where she made notes of tips the chefs gave. Along with that, she’d become almost intolerable about the quality of ingredients. She’d insisted one week that they go to the farmer’s market on Saturday in order to get fresh produce and would not let them rest until they’d gone. 

“Hey,” Daniel said, standing back while Delilah stirred batter in a bowl at the counter. She was dressed for the day already, Deke noticed, her messy dark hair pulled up in a ponytail behind her, and she was wearing her shoes like she was going out the door. “You okay?” 

“Slept like shit, but I couldn’t fall back asleep, so might as well be awake, I guess.” 

Daniel reached out and caught the edge of the pocket on his stolen hoodie and towed him close. “What kept you up?” 

“Unresolved trauma, apparently.” 

“How’s that?” 

“Nightmares,” Deke answered and let Daniel slide his hand up his back to rest at the nape of his neck. “You know how it is.” 

“Yeah,” Daniel agreed, and kissed Deke’s forehead. “Do you want some coffee?” 

“I wouldn’t say no today.” 

“Must be desperate, then,” Daniel said lightly before stepping over to the coffee maker. He poured Deke a cup of coffee into one of Deke’s favorite mugs, this adorable lemon-shaped mug that Daisy had made herself at a pottery class she attended with a coworker. “Cream and sugar?” 

“Both, please.” 

Maybe the sugar and the caffeine would lift him up and carry him through the day on their shoulders like some kind of champion. Daniel fixed him up the coffee and set it down in front of Deke with a loving smile that usually warmed Deke, much like he hoped the coffee in front of him might. But Deke didn’t feel that warmth that day; he was too tired, too weary after so many repeated loops of weapons, and pain, and grief. 

“Sit down,” Daniel said gently, gesturing to a stool at the breakfast bar. “Please, before you drop.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Mmhm, sure. Sit down, Deke.” 

Deke sat down as instructed, and sipped his coffee. It wasn’t particularly pleasant even with the added cream and sugar, but it would do. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I’d rather not, actually,” Deke said, and he could hear the sharp edge to his own voice, but he was too tired to smooth it out. 

“Okay, well, if you want, you know where I am.” 

Deke drank his coffee and rested his head in his hand. He almost dozed off watching Delilah and Daniel at the stove. The moment his eyes drifted shut though, he remembered the spike of fear in his heart whenever a Kree guard looked at him too long, the things he’d done to survive, the people he’d hurt, the people he’d – He stood up quickly, the bar stool slamming back, startling both Delilah and Daniel. He couldn’t breathe. He knew, he  _ knew _ he wasn’t back in the Lighthouse, but somehow, somehow he couldn’t, he couldn’t – Deke had to get away. 

He had to – 

He didn’t know where to go, or how to get there, but he grabbed his keys on his way out of the house to the driveway where he’d parked the car the night before. 

“Deke!” Daniel called, but Deke didn’t slow, throwing himself into the car and struggling to get the car started. Daniel appeared in the doorway just as Deke backed out of the driveway. 

* * *

It wasn’t until later when he was parked outside of a Dairy Queen that wouldn’t open for six more hours that Deke realized he did not remember getting there. 

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered, resting his head against the steering wheel. “Where the fuck – Echo, call Dannyboy.” 

The car’s stereo chirped as it recognized the command and the line started ringing. 

“What the fuck, Deke?” Daniel answered. 

“I don’t know. I don’t, it hasn’t been like this before. I can’t get away from this fight or flight response.” 

“Come home.” 

“I’m afraid,” Deke whispered and prayed it was enough to be heard. 

“What are you afraid of?” 

“Me? I don’t know. I don’t – I can’t. I don’t want to hurt anyone.” 

“Baby,” Daniel said, and it was gentle. It was so gentle. “You’re not a danger to us.” 

“I, I’ve tried not to think about before, before Daisy came and I got pulled into the past. I try not to think about it because I’m not that person anymore. I don’t want to be. But that person, the person that Daisy found in the Lighthouse, he’s still in here.” 

“We all have dark spots,” Daniel said. “You know? I’ve done things I’m not proud of.” 

“Yeah, okay, boy scout,” Deke scoffed. 

“I was a soldier, remember? I went to war. I did horrific things in the name of the country. My hands are bloodied just like yours.” 

“Danny,” Deke sighed. 

“Tell me about this morning.” 

“I woke up this morning, and it all sucked,” Deke replied. 

“That’s not – you know that’s not what I meant. Tell me about this morning, seriously.” 

“I didn’t sleep well last night. I couldn’t stop thinking about the Lighthouse, and the Kree, and what I did. I hurt people, and sacrificed them for my own gain. I hurt  _ Daisy _ back then, sold her to Kasius, because they were – the team was – god, I don’t deserve this life, Daniel. I don’t know what I did that makes me worthy of you, and her, and the kids, and the dog.” 

“Can you please come home so we can talk about this?” 

“I don’t know. It’s not – I don’t know if I trust myself to drive.” 

“Where are you?” 

“Dairy Queen?” 

“Where?” 

“Looks like,” Deke paused and looked out the windows around the car, “near the bus station.” 

“That’s clear across town,” Daniel said. 

“I don’t remember driving here.” 

“At all?” 

“I remember getting in the car, and backing out of the driveway, and then – and then, it’s all a blur. I could’ve hurt someone, or worse. I could have hit someone, and killed them, because I decided to get into the car and drive instead of –” 

“Breathe.” 

“How can I? Do I even deserve to breathe?” 

“Okay, I’m coming to get you. Please, stay there.” 

“Don’t hang up. I don’t, I don’t think I can be alone right now.” 

“I won’t. You stay where you are, and I’ll come get you. Do you want to tell me more about this dream?” 

“No.” 

“Okay, you don’t have to.” 

“Okay, I’ll tell you.” 

Daniel chuckled, and it was just the right kind of familiar that Deke let out a sigh. 

“You okay?” 

“I love you, Daniel. I don’t say it enough, and you deserve to hear it. You deserve so much better than I could ever give you, and I don’t know why you stick around, but I love you regardless.” 

“Is this you trying to distract me from asking you more about the dream? You don’t have to tell me, Deke. It’s a deeply personal thing, but I am here. I married you for a reason, and that’s to support you when you need it. And beyond that, you know  _ I  _ get to decide what I do and don’t deserve, too, right? I decided you were what I wanted years ago, and that hasn’t changed.” 

“Even though we’ve changed?” 

“Yeah, because it wasn’t separate. We changed together. We grew together, the way you’re supposed to in a long-term relationship. You change and grow around each other, and become new people together, and I promise that every new person you become, I will love them just as much as the first Deke I fell in love with.” 

“That does make sense.” 

“Is that part of this freak-out, or a separate problem?” 

“Part of it.” 

“Okay. That’s good to know. So, you’re afraid we won’t love you as you grow because of the person you used to be,” Daniel said patiently. Deke could hear keys being taken from the bowl by the door, and Daniel took the phone away from his mouth to talk to Daisy. “I’m going to get Deke.” 

“Tell him he’s in trouble,” Daisy replied. 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea right now.” 

“Okay, tell him I love him,  _ and _ he’s in trouble.” 

“I’ll be back.” 

“Be safe. Bring him home.” 

When Daniel came back, he said, “Daisy’s not happy.”

“I heard.”

“But despite that, we want you to come home. We always do. I know you’re worried about hurting us, or not being good to us, but in over a decade of being together, Deke, you’ve never shown any kind of mean-spirited behavior towards us. You’ve never raised your voice, or your hand. You’ve never made any of us afraid. You’re a gentle man, and we’re lucky to have you in our lives, and we know that. It’s important to me that you know that, too, that you know how lucky we are to know you and love you. You are not a burden on us.”

There was a pause while Daniel got in the car and settled into the seat. 

“Do you understand?” Daniel asked gently. 

“Not entirely.”

“That’s okay. I’m coming to get you, and we’ll have the rest of our lives to talk about it.”

“Okay. Can you, can you keep talking? About anything. Your voice calms me down.”

“Yeah?”

Deke hummed.

“Well, Del made apple cheesecake breakfast quesadillas with a raspberry compote. It was pretty good.”

“Sorry I missed it.”

“Yeah, she was too.”

“Did she make a mess?”

Daniel told him all about the disaster Delilah had left behind, because while Delilah was interested in cooking, she was not interested in cleaning up after herself. She had somehow managed to get batter on the ceiling once. It was just a part of who Delilah was, and Deke absolutely adored every single part of her, even the messy part, especially the messy part. The messy part was what made Del the person that she was, the person she was growing into with each passing day. It was hard to believe that this little person who was always dirtying the kitchen and coming up with things like apple cheesecake breakfast quesadillas with a raspberry compote was the little baby they’d brought home swaddled in pink with her scrunchy old man face. 

And Deke had spent her entire life lying to her.

He’d lied to all of their children since they were born, since they’d come into their home. 

* * *

Daniel’s car pulled up beside Deke’s and Deke hung up the call. He shut off the car, and stepped out, pausing between the cars for a moment. Daniel rolled the window down with a small, understanding smile. 

“Hey there,” he said. 

“Hey,” Deke replied.

“Are you going to get in?”

“I want to tell them,” Deke said.

“What?”

“I want to tell the kids about us.”

“I think they already know we’re together, babe.”

“No, not, not  _ that _ us. The time traveling us.”

“Really?”

“I can’t keep lying to our family, Danny.”

He locked the car and set the alarm before climbing into the passenger seat with Daniel. They sat there for a long moment before Daniel broke the silence.

"If you're sure, then we can tell them."

"It's one thing telling the world lies, you know? They wouldn't understand, would think we're crazy, and might take the kids away from us if we go around talking about time travel and the apocalypse and the world I grew up in. That, lying to save face with the world, that I can stomach. But once we start lying to the kids about where we come from and their heritage, that's where it starts to feel wrong."

Daniel nodded. 

"We'll have to talk to Daisy about it," Daniel said, "but I'm with you."

"Thanks, Danny. Remind me to  _ blow you _ away later."

Daniel chuckled and let out a fond, if exasperated, "Deke."

* * *

Daisy greeted them in the garage, eyebrow cocked as they got out of one vehicle, but she didn't make any comment. She pulled him into a hug, and kissed him on the cheek. 

"Welcome home," she muttered. "You okay?"

"There's something Daniel and I were talking about that we wanted to run by you, actually," he said, glancing over at Daniel who nodded while he pulled off his coat to hang on the hook by the door, kicking off his shoes. 

"What's that then?"

"I want to tell the kids about how we met, and where I come from, who I actually am."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Okay. If you're sure. I won't tell you not to if you're ready and you think they are, too."

"They grew up on our stories. All I want to do is tell them that they're true," Deke said. 

"Okay. I won't tell you no," Daisy said. "You should take a nap after."

Deke sighed and pressed a kiss into her forehead, letting his lips linger against her skin.

"Thank you."

“Are you going to tell Alya, too?” Daisy asked. 

“Oh, fuck, Alya,” Deke groaned. “Hold on, I need to call Nana and Bobo first.”

He stayed in the garage, leaned against the hood of the car, while he dialled. 

“Hey Deke,” Fitz answered. 

“Hey Bobo, is Nana home?”

“Always  _ is Nana home _ , never  _ how are you today, Bobo _ ?”

Deke sighed, and said, “how are you today, Bobo?”

“Now, I don’t want to tell you.”

“I have something I want to talk to you, and Nana about, so is Nana home?”

“She is. She just got done putting Lil down for her nap. Hold on.”

“How’s Lily doing?”

“One day at a time,” Fitz replied, and there was a tired, concerned tone in his voice that Deke felt down into his very soul. “Hey Jem, Deke’s on the phone. He wants to talk to us.”

“Oh! Must be important if they’re missing the Farmer’s Market,” Jemma replied. 

“Hi Nana,” Deke said softly.

“Hi Deke. It’s good to hear your voice, love.”

“Good to hear yours, too. Hey, listen, I’m going to tell the kids about, about me, and the Lighthouse, and where I come from.”

“Oh! Finally!” Jemma said.

“Finally?” Deke asked.

“We’ve talked about it, Jemma and I,” Fitz said, “about telling Alya, about telling all of the kids that you are  _ our _ family, by blood. But we wanted to wait until you were ready. We didn’t want to share anything you weren’t ready to talk about.”

“So, you’d be okay with it?”

“Alya’s an adult at uni, Deke. Her first five years of life were in space, never seeing the earth, or the ocean. She grew up listening to stories of her aunts and uncles fighting aliens, and robots, and squid-faced parasites. She can handle this.”

“Can I be the one to tell her?” Deke asked quietly, not sure he had the right to ask, but bold enough to try. 

“Of course,” Fitz and Jemma said simultaneously. 

“Really? That’s, thank you. I’m, thank you.”

“When are you telling them?”

“Uhm, well, right now. I’m headed inside to tell them.”

“Call us afterwards.”

“Alya has the Framework hook up still, right?” Deke asked.

“Yeah, she took hers to uni with her so we can check in and have family game night.”

“Okay, thanks. I think that conversation will be better in person, or as close to in person as we can get.”

“We’ll let her know you’ll be contacting her soon.”

“Thanks, guys. I love you.”

“Love you, good luck, Deke,” Jemma said. He hung up and let out a breath, looking up at Daisy and Daniel waiting nearby. 

“Okay, I’m ready,” he said. 

They headed inside and Daisy headed upstairs to get the girls while Deke found Luke in the living room. He sank into the couch next to him and Luke looked up from his Lego set he was working on.

"You okay, Dad?" he asked.

"Yeah, bud, I'm okay. I just had a bad day, and had to do some thinking."

"Daddy's home," Delilah called, and Deke looked over his shoulder as she bolted from the foot of the stairs, throwing herself over the back of the couch and into his lap. 

"Hi Songbird," Deke said, and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry about this morning, sweetie. I didn't mean to scare you."

“I know. I wasn’t scared of you,” she said softly, curling into him the way she always had. “Lola at school said she’s scared of her daddy, because he yells and throws stuff, but I’m not scared of you.”

“Oh, yeah?”

He glanced at Daniel who had taken a seat on the loveseat just as the twins came down. Jess sank into the seat next to him with a yawn, tucking her head against his chest. Luckily, none of their kids had decided they were too cool for affection yet, despite the fact that both the girls and Luke were teenagers. 

“Yeah, you don’t do that. Are you okay? You look tired, Daddy.”

“I am,” he said. “I’ve been having nightmares, and I’m not getting as much sleep as I need.”

“Oh. Can I help?”

“Uhm, yeah, actually,” he said, and watched Anna take the other loveseat with Daisy. “I have a story to tell you guys.”

“Okay!” Delilah said excitedly. She loved his stories. 

“Do you remember the stories I used to tell you guys about the boy in the stars?” he asked. 

“Yeah, he was so brave,” Delilah said, and Deke chuckled. Luke finally set his Lego construct down and shuffled back on the floor to listen to him. 

Jess raised her hand like she was in class.

“Yes, Jess?” Deke asked.

“I don’t really remember the boy in the stars?”

“Well, the story of the boy in the stars is that in a far away future that won’t come to pass is a boy who was born in the stars. His mom and dad were a part of a tribe of people that had fled from disaster, a massive Earthquake that shattered the earth and left them stranded, floating in an old Lighthouse.”

He saw Daisy’s eyes flicker to him, and then to the picture of the team on the mantle. They had prevented that from happening, but also had prevented Deke’s life from ever existing. There was no one to go back to, no Lighthouse, no friends, no family, no history, but Deke was glad at least there was no misery, no Kree. 

“The boy in the stars grew up never climbing a tree, or riding a bike, or swimming in a creek. He lived in the Lighthouse, and never breathed fresh air, but he didn’t let that bother him. He had all kinds of adventures with his friends, saving the day and rescuing those in need.”

Those bits were lies, of course, but he wouldn’t have to tell them that.

“My favorite,” Anna piped up, “was when the boy in the stars met the girl from the ground!” 

Daisy cocked her head at him.

“It was so romantic,” Delilah sighed, resting her cheek against Deke’s shoulder with a dreamy blink of her long eyelashes.

“Okay, so, if I can, I’d like to tell you a new story,” Deke said. “It’s going to sound very similar, okay?”

They all nodded, including Daisy. 

“Okay, so, here’s the story. I was born on a ship called the Lighthouse in the year 2063,” he said carefully. “My mom and dad were born on that ship as well, children born to the last humans alive, those who were lucky enough to have been rescued and shuttled into the Lighthouse as the Earth cracked and shattered across space. My grandparents were one of those last remaining Earth-inhabitants, beautifully smart, brave, and loyal fighters who strived to teach their daughter everything they could. My mom and my dad didn’t know the smell of cut grass, or that first warm spring breeze as winter finally lets go, or the way the sun feels on your skin after you get out of a cold pool. But they made the best of it, they had their imagination, they had their books, they had their stories, and they had their families. They met, and fell in love, and my mom took my dad’s name when they married, and when they had me, they named me Deke after a man on the floor above us who calmed my mom down when she panicked about having a kid in a growing population and a limited space.”

“I don’t understand,” Jess said. “Is this a story?”

“It is,” Deke said, looking at her. “But it’s my story.”

“No way,” Jess scoffed. 

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Do you trust that I wouldn’t lie to you?”

“Yeah,” she replied.

“Okay. Do you remember SHIELD from your history books?" Deke asked, looking around at his kids. They all nodded. "Your mom, papa, and I are all SHIELD agents, or we used to be before we retired to have you all. Your aunts and uncles, they were SHIELD agents. Nana May and Grandpa Coulson, too. Uncle Mack is the Director."

"Nuh-uh, Uncle Mack builds motorcycles!" Luke said.

"He could do both," Delilah argued. "Uncle Fitz builds fake arms and legs for people, but he could also be part of SHIELD."

"Okay, okay, hold on," Deke said. "Let me explain. The future that I come from wasn't good, so Mom and her team, including Fitz, and Jemma, and Mack, everyone, came to save the day. There was an accident and when they returned to the past, I was brought with them."

He looked at Daisy and met her smile.

"Is Mom the girl from the ground?" Delilah asked.

"She is," he said softly. 

"Mama," Delilah said excitedly, "you're the girl from the ground!"

"I am," Daisy agreed.

"And where's Pop in the stories?" Jess asked.

"Ahh, Papa came into our story later."

"We'll talk about that in a second," Daniel said. "Let your dad tell you his story."

"SHIELD gave me a place to belong in a brand new world,but it also gave me some family I had only really heard about. My mom used to talk about her parents so sweetly, she'd always talk about her dad like he was the best man she'd ever met. And when I met them, I realized what she meant."

Fitz hadn't been fond of him, so this part was a bit of a stretch but he also didn't want to tell his children that Fitz had been critical and dismissive of him at first, especially not when Fitz had warmed to him eventually and cared for him like his m.always talked about.

"Who? Who is it, Daddy?" Delilah demanded.

"I knew them as Nana and Bobo," he said.

"Uncle Fitz and Aunt Jemma!" Luke said excitedly. "That's what you call them when you think we can't hear."

"Yeah," Deke said. "They're my grandparents."

"Whoa," Anna and Jess said simultaneously.

"Does that mean that," Delilah started, and then she stopped, eyebrows pulling together. "If you changed the future, you won't be born, probably."

"Yeah, probably not," Deke agreed. "But I was, and I'm here with you now."

"Good. I don't want you to go anywhere."

He kissed her temple.

"My mom is your cousin Alya," he said, "except a different version of her. She doesn't know yet, but in another timeline, she was born on the Lighthouse in space, and she met my dad, and they had me."

"Wow," Luke breathed out. “That’s crazy.”

“Yeah,” Deke agreed, and left the silence following it ride for a minute. “Do you believe me?”

“Yeah,” Anna said immediately, and he’d never been more grateful for her presence, steady and calm in their house. The other kids followed suit.

“There is one more thing,” Daniel added.

“How could there possibly be anything else?” Jess asked.

“In quite the opposite direction, I was born in 1918, and was a part of the SSR and then SHIELD from the beginning. In 1955, your mom and the rest of the team rescued me from something terrible, and brought me to the future with them,” Daniel said. 

“You do seem a little old-fashioned,” Jess said. Deke cackled unintentionally, and Daniel looked at him with a little fond smile. 

“Any special story about you?” Luke asked, turning his attention to Daisy. 

“I am Inhuman,” Daisy said, “and have powers.”

“What?” Jess asked incredulously.

Daisy reached out and quaked the pile of mail off the coffee table but left the Lego set Luke was building earlier untouched. She had extremely impressive control over her powers, something that Deke knew hadn’t always been true. He had heard the stories, knowing that her first go with powers had been painful to herself and she’d hidden away. 

“Whoa! That’s so cool!”

Delilah launched off of Deke and climbed up into Daisy’s lap. Daisy wrapped her arms around Delilah and Deke could see the flex of her hand as she gently quaked Delilah, probably like a tickle, making Delilah giggle and twist in Daisy’s arms. 

“Wow,” Jess said. “Can we go to space?”

“Oh, uh, no,” Deke said.

“I mean, maybe,” Daisy said. “We’ll see if Uncle Mack would clear it. He’s a softie for you all.”

"Are you sure?" Daniel said slowly. 

"Well, considering Luke was conceived on Z3," Daisy replied with a shrug, "and it's a short trip, I don't see why not. As long as they promise to keep it a secret."

"Yes, I promise," Jess said quickly.

Deke grinned at her, because of all his kids, Jess was the one most likely to join SHIELD and explore space. She was more interested in molecular biology, but she could certainly follow that interest into the stars and study extraterrestrial molecular biology. 

“You can’t tell anyone about your dad and I, or your mom’s powers,” Daniel added. “I know it might be tempting to tell your friends, but people can’t know. Okay? We need you to promise, because people can’t know who we are.”

“I promise,” they said, voices staggered. Deke felt lighter, and he could breathe without feeling like a fraud. He was safe inside his own home; he was safe with his family. They knew him, they knew the truth about him, and suddenly, the fears he’d been lugging around, the Lighthouse and it’s weight that had sat on his chest all of the years, all of his life, felt light as air. 

* * *

**Deke:** Hey do you have a few minutes to talk?

**Alya:** I’m almost back at my flat, meet you in the Framework in 10?

**Deke** : Perfect 🍊

**Alya** : 🍊

Deke loaded into the Framework where they usually met, a cute cafe that Deke had set up for them. He set a quiet chatter as background noise, and had a gentle smell of freshly brewed coffee and baked croissants wafting around them. This was his favorite room in the Framework meeting place they’d created. He liked The Krazy Kanoe for the nostalgia, because that was the moment he’d stopped being an outsider and found a place to belong with Daniel and Daisy, but this was the closest he’d get to time with his mom again. She had loved coffee when he was a kid, even though it was a rare commodity, so when Deke had designed a place to meet Alya, he’d thought she’d enjoy a little cafe. 

He’d been right. When the Framework alerted him of a new arrival, he looked up from his cup of tea to find her crossing the floor to him. Her hair had darkened since she was a kid when they met, much closer to the dark red-tinged brown he remembered, pulled up into a curling ponytail, wearing her university sweater and jeans. She was grinning at him.

“Hey Deke!” she said excitedly. The version of her that had raised him had had an American accent, grown up in the Lighthouse surrounded by Americans who had been saved during the cataclysm, but this version of her had her mother’s accent, tinged with her dad’s Scottish. 

“Alya,” he said, standing up and letting her collide into him the way she always had. She did a lot of things with her whole body; she’d been a hand talker her entire life, too full of life for her little body, and that had never stopped. Even as she’d grown, her exuberance and excitement for the world had grown with her. She was endlessly curious, always pushing boundaries, asking what else was possible. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” she said into his neck. “It’s been too long.”

“It has,” he agreed, and they broke away, sinking into the chairs at the table. She had Fitz’s eyes, big and blue, and Jemma’s smile. “How’s classes?”

“Oh, absolutely wonderful! I’m fascinated with everything,” she said, and she told him everything, about her professors and her flatmates and her work. She sipped her coffee while she talked, one hand flailing about while the other held her mug steady. He could listen to her forever, suddenly back in their little bunk on the Lighthouse, sitting in his dad’s lap while his mom told him a story, told him about the SHIELD agents who would come and rescue them, about her wonderful parents he barely remembered. “Oh, I have been talking forever, haven’t I? I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Deke said. “It’s so nice to see you. I’d sit here for hours.”

She grinned at him.

“Mum and Dad did say you had something to talk to me about.”

“I did, I do.”

“Lovely,” Alya said excitedly. “I’m ready.”

“Okay, how much do you know about where I come from?”

She cocked her head to the side as she thought.

“Mum has mentioned that you came from the future,” she said. “I don’t think she knew I was there, or that I could hear, but she said something like that.”

“It’s true,” Deke said softly. “Did your parents ever tell you about the Lighthouse?”

“I’ve been to the Lighthouse,” Alya replied.

“So, the future that I come from doesn’t exist anymore, or won’t exist, because your parents, and Daisy, and the whole team, changed the events so the world won’t shatter apart, and the remainder of humanity will float through space in the Lighthouse bunker. But, for me, all of that still happened. My parents and I were born in the Lighthouse, lived every day of our lives there, except, except that I was saved by the team.”

He trailed off. She reached out and slid her fingers between his, a steady weight, real and solid. 

“Your parents are my grandparents from that timeline,” he said, looking at their hands instead of in her eyes, unable to face it if she were disgusted, or didn’t believe him, or didn’t want to hear it. “And you, the you from that life that won’t happen, are my mom.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, but she hadn’t immediately logged off or told him he was crazy.

“Deke, look at me,” Alya said gently, and the accent was wrong, but the tone was the same. She sounded just like his mom after he’d messed something up, broken something, broken a rule, gentle, caring. He turned his eyes up at her. “Oh, Deke. I’d be so honored and grateful if I got to be your mum.”

“You’re not, not freaked out?”

“Well, we’ve all had weird lives,” she replied. “Beyond that, you look a lot like Mum and Da; of course, you’re related to us.”

“And you’re fine with this?”

“Would it change anything if I wasn’t? Would you stop being my son?”

“No,” he said. 

“You’re my family, Deke, uncle, or son, or whatever. You’re my family, and I love you. Okay? I’m so happy you told me, and that you trust me with this, and if I ever do have a son, I will absolutely be delighted if the universe lets it be you.”

He wiped a tear from his cheek, and she smiled sweetly at him.

“Now,” she said, straightening up in her chair but not letting go of his hand yet, “tell me all about your day. What have you been up to since we talked? How is everyone? I want to hear all of it.”

* * *

When he finally logged off the Framework, Daniel was nearby, sitting and reading the murder mystery series he’d fallen into because he said that the lead reminded him of Peggy, and Daisy was next to him, head resting on his shoulder while she scrolled on her phone. He looked at them for a moment longer before speaking up.

“Hey,” he said, and his voice was scratchier than he expected. They both looked up at him. 

“How’d it go?” Daisy asked, sitting up towards him.

“She was, she was great,” Deke said with a quiet laugh at himself. “Of course, she was great. She’s my mom, she was born to the same parents, and raised by them, and she loves me the way she always has. I’d convinced myself for so long that I didn’t deserve that, that the reason I lost all of my family, and my entire life, and my past, and my history was because I deserved to. I thought that all of this could go away at any time and it would set the world back to the status quo, you know? I’m not allowed to have this. I know I’ll never see my dad, I don’t even remember my grandparents on his side, so there’s no way to even know if he was born in this timeline. But whatever power in the universe that took her away from me when I was so young gave her back to me, albeit in a much stranger way that I could have ever expected. And that power gave me Nana and Bobo, and you guys, and the kids, and this life. When I was that little scrawny orphan on the Lighthouse, trying to survive and scrape by because no one wanted me, I couldn’t have imagined life would turn out like this, but it has, and I am so incredibly grateful for every minute of it. I won’t waste another second worrying I don’t deserve you, because I trust you, and Alya, and Nana and Bobo, and the kids, and I believe you when you say you love me.”

He wiped that single tear away and Daisy pulled him towards them until he was curled between them, settled and happy. This is where he belonged, in this room, in this house, in this time, in this family, right here, and he was content right here in the middle of everything.


End file.
